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Still Going Postal

Just when you think the trend has gone by the wayside, something like this happens:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/11107022/

"Doing the Robot" Has Been Done

You're a creative person. You're on set, shooting your latest crap sandwich. The script calls for dancing. You suggest to the director that somebody should "do the robot."

"Doing the robot is funny!" you say.

The director agrees. "Yes, the robot is funny." So he encourages one of the quirkier actors to hinge his elbows and have at it.

Everybody laughs. The robot is funny. Ha Ha.

A week or two later in the editing suite, you're sitting next to the smelly guy at the Avid. The edit just isn't looking right. Definitely not how you envisioned it in your head. Suddenly you remember that you've got a cut with a guy "doing the robot." You find it. Your spot is saved. That shit is FUNNY.

OK. Back to reality. If you've ever done this, or you think you might do this in the future, please don't. "Doing the robot" is no longer funny. And whilst some people might think that "doing the robot" is on par with monkeys and midgets in terms of guaranteed laughs, I'm afraid that "doing the robot" just doesn't have as much staying power as really short people or chimpanzees. Sorry, you have not just created the next "Mr. Roboto." You've actually created a turd burger.

I write this only because I've seen at least two new spots this weekend with people "doing the robot." One of them was for Wendy's, which you can watch here (it's the last of the three spots). The other I can't remember, except for the fact that it sucked ass.

Thank you.

Shhhhh, I'm trying to party here.

If you're like me, you've struggled to have good, quality conversations in bars and clubs. The main culprit: noise. Often it's just too loud to understand what the hell the other person is saying, so you end up doing a lot of yelling in your victim/buddy/friend's ear.

Well, thankfully somebody has come up with a solution. "Quiet Parties" are sweeping the nation, according to the San Francisco Chronicle.

The parties feature ball point pens, index cards and loads of dead silence. In all honesty, I can't think of a lamer thing to do with my evenings, but who am I to crap all over somebody's idea of a good time?

Metro Madness

Adrants the other day pointed to a Dockers website with a "Say No to Metro" theme.

I'm pretty sure this is the 27th campaign in the last 6 months that has been all about men reclaiming their manhood from metrosexuality. Crispin had the "Endangered Man" campaign for Maxim. Milwaukee's Best has some spots in the same vein on the tube right now.

But the biggest shame of all is that Levi's 501 has done some viral work that is exactly--and by "exactly" I mean exactly--the same.  I think you can watch it here.

Now I know Levi's owns Dockers (right?) but why would they let two of their brands say the exact same thing in a matter of months?

Dumbheads.

Sex at Wal-Mart

I was intrigued to read in Ad Age yesterday that sales of KY jelly are skyrocketing, and that this success is due primarily to Wal-Mart, where the stuff is flying off of the shelves.

Sorry, God-fearing Middle America, but you're totally busted. You thought you could sneak into the health and beauty aisle and casually tuck that big bottle of lube into your shopping cart under the toilet paper. Let's just be honest, all you 39-year-old Baptist mothers: you like to get nasty in the bedroom. Freaky nasty.

Anyway, the article went on to include some fascinating info about sex and marketing:

It turns out getting frisky with value-added lubricants is fast becoming as American as apple pie. J&J has found warming lubricants sell well not only for Valentine’s Day but also around Memorial Day and Fourth of July. “We dubbed these sex holidays,” Mr. Peterson said. “And we try to line up all our promotional efforts around them.”

I wish somebody would have told me that these were the sex holidays. I'd have planned accordingly. Tragically, I've spent all these years watching fireworks on the Fourth of July while the rest of the country has been watching porn and rubbing each other with love-oil to commemorate our nation's birthday.

Eurotards

So apparently 'silent disco' is the latest trend sweeping the clubs in Europe. Says the Associated Press:

It's a scene familiar to any summer music festival -- open fields full of sweaty young bodies writhing in time. But this one appears to be missing a vital element -- sound.

At Britain's famed Glastonbury music festival this weekend, festivalgoers can take part in a "silent disco."

The music, instead of being pumped out through stacks of speakers, will be streamed to the audience through personal sets of wireless headphones, and it'll look like the dancers are jumping around to a nonexistent beat.

Leave it to the Europeans to come up with something this tacky. Look at the guy in the picture for chrissakes! I bet he's also wearing black dress socks with white shoes. Dumbass.